Green Eggs and Ham Funny Quotes
Season 1
General
- Pretty much everything the Lemony Narrator does or says, thanks to Keegan-Michael Key's excellent comic timing and his many fourth-wall and meta jokes.
- Throughout the series, Dr. Seuss' trademark mechanical white-gloved hands appear on a number of inventions, resulting in some hilarious bits of visual acting.
- The Running Gag of Michellee using the magnetic friendship bracelet to literally keep E.B. on a short leash, especially the little "Gen-u-ine Friendship!" jingle it plays every time it locks.
- In season 2, Michellee and Guy have magnetic wedding rings that play a similar lock jingle; "E-ter-nal Courtship!"
- The other Running Gag of the Chickeraffe licking Guy's face.
- The other, other Running Gag of McWinkle's fur going gray every time he and Gluntz suffer a setback in trying to capture the Chickeraffe.
- The other, other, other Running Gag of a character saying that the Goat is doing something, promptly followed by the Goat explaining loudly that he is doing said thing.
- Throughout the series, it's shown that the titular dish is very popular in this world, to the point there's several different variations of it!
- The visual puns. This being the world of Dr. Seuss, you can expect more than a few.
Here
- Guy's journey to SnerzCo includes: falling into a deep puddle, "signing" a petition to save the Yips with a rapid string of "no"s culminating in a final "and no", reluctantly taking a photo of a family while having them say, "I'm ruining your life!", which they do with glee... and being forced to wait for an elevator that gets to floors like 1 1/2, 1 3/16, and 1 7/4683 and so on.
- The narrator wonders what the "narrator-muter" invention does. The inventor demonstrates by turning a nob and quieting his voice as he complains. A couple scenes later, he comes back and vents about how nobody takes his craft seriously.
- This episode establishes the Running Gag that this world is full of Literal Metaphors. For example, bean-counters and pencil-pushers actually count beans and push around pencils on their table.
- While Guy is presenting his invention, the female board member at SnerzCo leaning on on her hand and declares, impressed, "I'm leaning in!". note "Leaning in" is a phrase often uses to mock businesswomen who call themselves feminists but don't actually do anything to earn the title (similar to someone who says "woke" without actually understanding what it means).
- Sam getting Guy's attention by gently knocking on his newspaper like it's a door.
- Guy's reacting to eating a bowl of piping-hot oat mush in one gulp, especially the closed-mouth screaming he does as he bangs his fist on the table in pain.
- When Guy is sulking in his apartment, he hears other inventors in the pool doing the conga and gloating that they're going to Meepville. He shuts the curtains to try and shut out the noise somehow.
Man: You can still hear us!
People in the pool: Those are just curtains!
Car
- While the chickeraffe is wreaking havoc in Guy's apartment, the other inventors are still having a party.
Inventors: Still going to Meepville! Can't hear that guy screaming! Having too much fun here!
- A bellhop arrives at the door while Guy is having trouble with the chickeraffe.
Bellhop: We hope you're enjoying your executive suite featuring seventeen rare and priceless vases.
Guy: Are those, by any chance, insured?
Bellhop: (laughing) No! They're rare and priceless! - While the bellhop is singing the complimentary lullaby, the chickeraffe bites Guy's leg. Guy, politely trying to listen, is once again screaming in pain with his mouth closed.
- Just the concept of the hotel's bellhops offering complimentary lullabies to its guests. It's such a distinctly Seussian joke.
- The lullaby itself.
"It's an honor to serve you
From Salamason to Gree
And many thanks for respecting
Our no pets policy
Now we bid you good morrow
And hope to see you soon
And just a quick reminder...
ahem
Check out's at (absurdly high note) noooooooooooooooon!"
- Gluntz's... unsettling excited laugh when she hands McWinkle the net to capture Guy.
- Gluntz invoking "I Always Wanted to Say That."
Guy (As the BADGUYS are encroaching on him near the edge of a cliff): Who are you people??
Gluntz: We're the BADGUYS! (pumps fists) YES! I've always wanted to say that! Oh, I'm gonna have so much to journal about tonight! - The Lightmare Fuel of Guy's hallucination in the desert, especially where he hears the narrator speaking.
Narrator: Guy started to think he'd made the wrong choice.
Guy: Huh?! (looks around) Hey, who said that? What is that voice?
Narrator: I'm your narrator, Guy. This dude in your brain. And if you can hear me...(chuckles) you're going...INSANE!!!!- The Synchro-Vox mouths on the green ham as an operatic voice chants "GREEN EGGS! GREEN EGGS! GREEN EGGS AND HAM!"
- The conductor of Snerz's tiny personal orchestra playing "Bone-Chilling Crescendo in C Minor." So intense is the piece that the music is written in jagged scribbles.
- After an unpleasant phone call, Gluntz promises McWinkle not to sugarcoat what she was told... then proceeds with what is obviously the opposite of what she's just been told before making the most adorkablly innocent face.
Gluntz: (glumly to McWinkle) "Well, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. (Beat. Suddenly happy) The big man sends his love! He said he appreciates out efforts and believes in us forever. Also, he asked that I compliment you on your hat, specifically! (bites her lip and beams up at him with Puppy-Dog Eyes)
McWinkle: "Glutz, that was so sugarcoated, I'm gettin' a cavity." - Where did Sam get the kite, snorkel and pole vault pole to break into the zoo? Why, at Lem's Kite, Snorkel and Sole Vault Poles, of course! There's even a sign out front reading "Plummeting Out of Business."
Gluntz: Aw, poor Lem. Looks like the kite, snorkel and pole vault pole bubble has finally burst.
- Michellee drives so slowly and so cautiously (complete with blinkers on nonstop) that when Guy flags her down, it takes her several minutes to get to him. By the time she gets there, he's flopped down on his briefcase and snoring loudly.
- Guy hitchhiking using one of the hands from his broken self-flyer. When he spots Michellee's car, he uses two of them for a "come on" gesture.
Train
- This:
Guy: As soon as this train ride is over, we are going our separate ways forever. And we'd better not be sitting next to each other.
Sam: (giggling) I wouldn't dream of it.
(Gilligan Cut to Sam and Guy sitting on opposite seats)
Sam: Across is much better. This way we get to look right at each other when we chat.
(Guy glares while Sam gushes)
Sam: They say the eyes are the windows to the soul.
(Guy continues to glare at him)
Sam: And... there. (whispering) I just saw your soul.
(Guy clutches his face and groans) - Sam tells E.B. that his mother used to call him by his full name: Samuel-I-Amuel.
- When Guy enters the model train car, he sees a model of the train he's in that contains a miniature Guy that copies his every move.
- "Is there anywhere on the train to watch paint in peace?"
- When Guy is trying to practice watching paint dry in his cabin, Sam peers over his shoulder, beaming like Elder Cunningham.
Fox
- When Guy is confronted with the BADGUYS, he runs back into the train. Unfortunately, he's running through the cars just as it's leaving, so he's still staying right where he is. Emphasized by the music abruptly cutting out when the scene cuts from outside the train to Guy's POV inside.
- The recursive model train appears again, this time with miniature versions of the BADGUYS climbing on top of it (and letting Guy know they're on his tail).
- When Guy points one of the broken self-flyer hands accusingly at Sam, the hand makes a pointing gesture.
- Sam realizing that they're not going to find a necktie in the farmer's house.
Guy: What kind of man doesn't own a necktie??
Sam: This one!
(Shows Guy a family photo of the farmer and his family, revealing that the farmer is a No-Neck Chump.) - The Shout-Out to There's a Wocket in My Pocket!. Bonus points for following the book's actual rhyming pattern.
Farmer's Son: Ma! There's a chickeraffe in the bath!!
(Mom opens the bathroom door and sees no chickeraffe)
Mom: (sarcastically) Sure, and last week, there was a wozzet in your closet. - The train's "Think-About-What-You've-Done Car" has a giant Dr. Seuss-style mechanical hand on a spring, which wags at the person on the end of it with the motion of the train.
Dark
- When Sam is about to start origin-storying, his line is humorous enough to warrant a dramatic zoom in...Before getting cut off by Guy.
Sam-I-Am: It all started a long time ago when Mom-I-Am gave birth to Me-I-Was...
- As Guy sulks, Sam pops up from behind a hill of junk, wrapped in police tape and oven mitts for warmth. The funniest part is that he does actually look really warm.
- The Bait-and-Switch gag of Sam shaking his soda as hard as possible, making Guy nervous that it'll douse the fire, only for it not to. It's the cork that Sam pops off landing on the bottle and knocking it into the fire that does. And the screen is pitch-black for several seconds to emphasize just how screwed they are.
- And when the fire comes back, it's not because Guy got his invention to work again, it's because his invention exploded. Again. And it's giving him a thumbs-down.
- The vending machine Sam finds has Dr. Seuss' trademark white-gloved mechanical hands, which bangs on the machine when the food gets stuck like a person would to a real vending machine. Later, when Guy tries to remove them for his own invention, they slap his hands away.
- There's another Bait-and-Switch gag as Sam, Guy, and Mr. Jenkins are trying to escape certain doom. Guy is inventing a means of escaping but needs a coin to start it up. Sam sees the vending machine floating by in the deadly ooze and goes to get the coin they need. He tips over a huge motel sign in the junkyard to make a bridge to it, only to smash the vending machine with it instead. And then it starts spitting out coins like a slot machine.
Box
- To disguise themselves, Sam simply switches hats with Guy. Guy is not amused.
Guy: Switching hats is not a disguise!
- Almost immediately after a couple of cops show up, but utterly fail to recognize the duo. Even though they have Guy and Sam's wanted posters for comparison and the two end up mimicking the posters.
- The cops themselves, who just march around yells "WE'RE COPS!" over and over.
- "The World's Smallest Thermometer." Incredibly Lame Fun doesn't even begin to describe it. It's so small, even the ants that E.B. looks at with the magnifying glass can't see it.
- The waiter at the last restaurant Guy and Sam visited tells the BADGUYS that they ordered from the half-off menu.
- The carnival which our heroes work at sells not only cotton candy, but candy of other clothing materials, like flannel, wool and nylon.
- The sugar high effect flannel candy gives to the carnival patrons. Gluntz takes a bite of some and runs through a friggin' wall, then starts hopping around like Daffy Duck. Downing all of it at once gives her enough of a rush to knock down a (rigged) milk bottle game, along with the entire stand itself.
- If you listen closely to Gluntz shaking her head and doing a Rapid-Fire "No!", you can hear a gross cheek-flapping sound effect.
- Throughout the episode, Michellee is trying to be more fun, but it clearly comes off more as creepy and insane. You can just feel how uncomfortable E.B. is when her mother stares at her wide eyed and with an unsettling smile.
Michellee: Woo-hoo! I! Am! So! Pumped! Up! For! The! Wheeeeeeeelllll.... (creepy smile)
E.B: (concerned): Um... mom, can you come back to me now?
(Beat as Michellee unsmiles as hard as possible)
Michellee: (calmly) I'm here, E.B. (starts jittering) You know where... I'd rather be? ( Creepy-as-hell whisper ) The wheeeeeeeeellllllll...- E.B. offers an alternative ride that's more her mother's speed: the merry-go-still (a merry-go-round that doesn't... well, go 'round. As in all of the seats are stuck in the ground instead of on a wheel). Several patrons are asleep on it.
- The sword swallower at the carnival accidentally pulling out his own heart. Owtch.
- Blink-and-you-miss-it: when the BADGUYS run into the postal store, the clerk is drawing a mostly-finished sketch of McWinkle.
- Not only are the handcuffs that the officer uses on Sam two Dr. Seuss gloves on a chain, but they play a little "Gen-U-Ine Co-on-vict!" jingle, like Michellee and E.B.'s friendship bracelets, when locked. Apparently, whoever made one made the other.
Mouse
- Sam fooling the police officer.
- When Sam is put into his cell:
Officer: Welcome to Shvizelton jail. Enjoy your stay. Oh, and you're entitled to one call.
Sam: Okay, one call. (He goes to the window and screams out of it) GUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUYYY!! - The mouse performs a sweeping, Les Misérables-style song to tell his backstory, ending on a suspended operatic note. Cut back to Sam's POV where the music cuts out and all he hears is a squeaks.
- Guy shows up to break Sam out of jail disguised with a fake mustache. Sam fails to catch on even after Guy takes it off, and he still doesn't recognize him until Guy adopts his signature scowl.
- Squeaky leading Sam and Guy in an escape attempt, starting with the hole in the wall hidden behind the poster of...the wall. Well, at least it's inconspicuous.
- Shvizelton has a literal right and Wrong Side of the Tracks. As in there's a literal train track dividing the gloomy, overcast North Shvizelton and the bright, sunny South Shvizelton. Gluntz takes a moment to have fun with this by jumping back and forth over the track.
"Hmmm. (jumps into South Shvizelton) Right side! (jumps back into North Shvizelton) Wrong side! (South Shvizelton) Amazing! (North Shvizelton) Stupid! (South) Rainbows! (North) Barf!"
- Then she bodily drags a chipper citizen from the right side of the tracks to the wrong side, where he immediately becomes a shifty gossiper.
- "North Shvizelton: 'You're Probably Here By Mistake'"
Rain
- Gluntz and the two prison guards "Awwww!"-ing over the mouse's teeny tiny prison hat.
- Sam tries to find some ingredients to make green eggs and ham for him and Michellee, leading to this exchange:
Michellee: I'm vegan.
Sam: [completely sincere] Oh. I-I'm so sorry, I didn't realize. How long have you known? - Sam tries to keep Michellee busy by asking about her bean-counting career. He can't even listen for three seconds before he starts dozing off, forcing him to do all of the cliche tactics for staying awake, like doing jumping jacks, drinking coffee, and even pouring coffee onto his eyeballs. By the end of it, he's fast asleep with eyes and a smiley mouth drawn over his sleeping face.
- Becomes a Brick Joke when Michellee almost barges into the bathroom and Sam, who can't bare to look, draws eyes on his eyelids and a circle around his mouth while yelling "NOOOO!!!" as if actually yelling isn't enough.
Goat
- In the middle of a very intense moment where the Goat is about to toss Sam off a cliff, he asks Guy to tell his mother he loves her. Guy points out that he can't because he's about to die too, so Sam howls to the open air, "Someone, tell our mothers we love them!"
- While at a diner, Gluntz is offered a Mega Meal Challenge called the "Ham-Egg-Edon," a dozen green eggs on top of toast on top of an extra-large ham on top of more toast, all folded into a giant egg. Her immediate first question?
"Does it come with a side?"
- It does: a fruit salad.
- McWinkle warns her that it'll mostly be cantaloupe, which she calls "the garbage fruit."
- The Shout-Out to The Usual Suspects as McWinkle puts the pieces together about Sam.
House
- When using The Goat's credit card to check into a hotel, Sam randomly bleats to prove that he's the card's owner, complete with his face momentarily turning into a goat's.
- McWinkle mutters to himself "green eggs and ham" three times as he is finally piecing together how to locate Sam, which causes the waitress to misunderstand him as ordering three of the stuff. Then it's raised to four orders after Gluntz mentions it as well. By the time the two are about to leave the diner, the waitress has all four orders of green eggs and ham ready on the counter, much to McWinkle's chagrin.
- When he reveals this brilliant deduction to Gluntz, she casually mentions that she figured it out "like, three episodes ago."
- Later, when McWinkle is doing a String Theory about how to follow Sam, Gluntz is seen diligently taking notes. A few seconds later, McWinkle asks her what she's got. Cut back to her... she's knitting a sweater from the string McWinkle used.
Boat
- The Reveal that The BADGUYS aren't literal card carrying villains, as we've been lead to believe, but wildlife conservationists and that "BADGUYS" is an acronym for Bureau of Animal Defense - Glurfsburg Upper Yipville Section. It's so belabored (even stupid), that you can't help but find it hilarious.
- The brief Who's on First? exchange that they have with Guy's mom as she tries to understand how the BADGUYS aren't bad guys.
- And apparently, neither of them realized this until Guy's mom points it out. note A deleted scene
from There would have revealed that they weren't the only ones either! Even as Guy is being led through BADMEN (Bureau of Animal Defense - Meepville Environmental Network) HQ, which looks more like a Bad-Guy Bar and who's employees all look violent and dangerous, none of them understands how or why their name can be misinterpreted and are even a little offended that Guy would suggest such a thing.
There
- Gluntz reassures McWinkle that her stupefaction technique merely trapped The Goat in a happy memory. Cue a traumatized scream of "AAAA!!! NOOOOO!!!!" from The Goat. Gluntz can only awkwardly clear her throat afterward.
- The funniest part is that, whatever interpretation you make of that scream, it's automatically hilarious. Is he remembering something that's traumatic rather than happy? A happy memory of himself traumatizing someone else? Something that was once happy but is now traumatic?
- The setup, where Gluntz shows off her out-of-nowhere animal linguistics skills. Doubles as an awesome moment, as we finally get to see her do something right.
Goat: We can do this the easy way or the hard way, amigo.
McWinkle: I'm not your amigo, friend.
Gluntz: Ooo! Ooo! I am! And let me just say...
(Removes her sunglasses to reveal her eyes bugged out and looking in opposite directions, then starts bleating with her fingers on her head to resemble horns, stupefying the Goat where he stands)
- McWinkle tells Guy that he's not interested in Guy's social life during his interrogation. Cut to Gluntz "interrogating" (read: having a literal tea party with) the Goat in the next room.
Gluntz: (as she adds sugar cubes to their tea): So, tell me about your social life? Do you like to hang out with other goats or do you like to mix it up?
Goat: (stone-faced) M'not talkin'.
Gluntz: (takes a sip of her tea) Any... hobbies?
Goat: M'not! Talkin'!
Gluntz: Intersting hobby! (whispering excitedly) Do ya like board games?
Goat: No.
(Gluntz gasps and throws her tea in his face. He doesn't budge. She gets in his face)
Gluntz: YOU MONSTER!
(Cut back to McWinkle and Guy, who only hear her screaming)
McWinkle: I have no idea what kind of sick tactics she's using over there... - Sam using Mr. Jenkins' horns like levers on a crane to move around while sitting on his head, complete with Jenkins making beeping noises while moving mechanically from left to right.
- After Guy delivers his furious rant, Sam's hat and Mr. Jenkins' mane are blown straight back, as though Guy had unleashed a gale on them.
- Sam only uses the name "Bamboozle McHoaxyPants" for hotels.
- In a rare case of out-and-out Black Comedy for the show, the restaurant Guy walks into after getting out of jail has a faulty sign, blinking JUST(in's) DI(n)E(r)
- How does Snerz get his employees to cheer for him at his banquet? By threatening to fire them via a sign by his yes-man.
APPLAUD! Or...YOU'RE FIRED!!!
- Michellee even gets E.B. to clap... JUST in case. She's saying this as the Yesman looks threateningly at her and uses glover clappers. The words are separated by claps by the way.
I'D KEEP CLAPPING IF I WERE YOU!
Anywhere
- McWinkle and Gluntz are stopped at customs and forced to empty their pockets before passing through the metal detector. Cue Gluntz unloading several net-guns of varying sizes for several seconds.
- After getting strapped into Guy's self-flyer, he boasts about how he's only gotten stronger and is ready to settle things... right up until it explodes mid-sentence.
Guy: I built that.
Season 2
The Mom Identity
- The opening scene shows a break-in at a government building with the words "secret lab" in neon lights outside.
- An Intrepid Reporter type talks about how he wants the spotlight so badly that he's braving a war zone, only for a cardboard cutout of the Yookia/Zookia border to fall over and reveal he's still in his studio. His studio quickly claims to be having technical difficulties.
- Sam's "perfect plan" to find his mom in East Flurbia is getting up high and yelling at her with a megaphone.
Goldenguy
- Philip Trousers destroys Pam's boat and decides to let her get eaten by Dolphacudas. Wouldn't be funny if he didn't completely mess up his threat and Pam herself didn't have to help him with it.
Philip: I really must be going now, Pam. It's getting close to dinnertime and it seems the main course is... is... (whispering to himself) Oh, what is it?
Pam: Uh, "you"?
Philip: "Me"? Why would I be the main course?
Pam: No, I mean, you referring to me, like I am the main course.
Philip: Ooh! Right! Heh...
Pam: ...you don't understand, do you?
Philip: Hahaha... I really don't.
Three Days of Mom-Dor
- E.B and Looka bond over making fun of poems, to which the narrator of course has to step in.
Narrator: Oh, the nerve of these two, poems aren't for babies, my rhymes are never contrived, because I have... rabies.
- Philip not knowing which button to push in order to start his company's plane... despite it having only one button literally labeled "The only button".
- Marilyn enters in the code that opens the hangar door, which is titled as "Code Trousers won't forget". The code? Literally just the number "1".
To Yookia With Love
- The Narrator frequently cutting to Michellee only to quickly become bored. Once he realizes she's pregnant (something hinted at throughout the episode), he's baffled that he and the viewer missed it, and gets defensive the viewer had to have missed it as well.
You Only Mom Twice
- Philip gets turned into a stereotypical nerdy teenager, complete with pimples and Braces of Orthodontic Overkill, as a result of the island's Fountain of Youth properties. He isn't too happy about it.
- Pam's reaction upon hearing teen!Philip's voice.
Pam: What was that? It sounded like a boy with vocal cords ravaged by puberty.
- On that note, the revelation that Sam, out of all characters used to have an Emo Teen phase.
- After Philip turns back into his present day self, Sam distracts him by throwing a bike mirror to him.
The Mom Who Loved Me
- Philip's fate - he starts admiring himself in the reflection of a bubble left behind by Goo-Lacka-Goo and notices a piece of grass in his teeth. He gets closer to the bubble to get it out only for the bubble to suck him in. Marilyn comes by and blows the bubble, along with Philip in it, away.
- Gluntz's explanation for Zookia's and Yookia's war - the cows apparently escalated the conflict to sell more dairy products.
Source: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Funny/GreenEggsAndHam2019
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